Happy Holidays 2008!

Both myself and my staff wish you and your family a very Happy and Enjoyable Holiday Season! This is a great time of year to reflect on all the good things that has made us feel good, has put a smile on our face and have been a blessing to you and the people you care for! Now is a great time to be thankful for all the gifts given us through the past year and to start creating what we will like to come to be in 2009!

So often we spend so much time looking at what “bad” things have happened over the past year and sometimes even beyond and forget or give much less attention to the good things that have touched our lives. The friends who where there just when they where needed the most, the family members who put that extra touch on a holiday or birthday, your son or daughter who makes you feel extra special. There are so many good things that happen to us and yet how many of us keep reliving the bad things and loss sight of the good?

So please take this time to remember the small and large events that have had a positive impact on your life this year and take the time to thank the people who are important in your life and have made a difference to you.

We at Single Parent Power wish you all a fantastic, fun and safe holiday with the people who care about you and who make a difference in your life! May your life be blessed with family and friends and may the New Year bring health, happiness and abundance!

As is our custom I will close with some great holiday quotes:

“We have focused on the miracle-thing and I think we often overlook the message of Hanukkah. To me, the core of the holiday is the cleaning of the temple.... The accomplishment was in restoring the temple to the purpose for which it was built. Now think of the temple as a symbol. Perhaps it represents my life. The world has tried to use me for its own (perhaps good, but none-the-less extrinsic) purposes. But now I can rededicate myself to my own original purpose.” ~Ralph Levy

“The darkness of the whole world cannot swallow the glowing of a candle.” ~Robert Altinger

“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” ~Chinese Proverb

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.” ~Richard Lewis

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” ~Dr. Seuss

“Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.”
Oren Arnold
“Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” ~Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby

Enjoy family, friends and all that you do have in your life today – in this moment!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - "Helping Reconnect Families"
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" - Albert Einstein

Thanksgiving Message!!

Now is the time of year when we all think of all the turkey we will be eating and the great desserts we will be finishing at our feasts. We make decisions on who will be hosting the celebration this year (if you are lucky enough to have family and friends to share with, the money to have a feast and the job to feel good about spending that money). What about the families who have none of these? What about the struggling families? If they do not have a big feast but celebrate what they do have and the fact they are together - are they any less thankful? Or maybe even more? Something to think about.

This Thanksgiving gives us a reminder and an opportunity to step back and take inventory. We in our society are so ready and eager to look at what we don’t have, what other people have or what we “should” have but don’t. In this economy with so many people in trouble financially, losing their homes and their life savings – it is important to look at the people in our lives that make a difference!

We become jealous of people who have more then us, who have the “toys” we want or who have what is in vogue this year. Who’s doing what and who is not? How can we possibly be happy if we are always looking outward from our selves to feel fulfilled?

Thanksgiving is a reminder to each and every one of us – time to take account of what we do have! What do we really have in our lives to be grateful for? What are we taking for granted and who? When is the last time you said thank you to someone who has made or does make a difference in your life? When is the last time you looked at what you do have and was thankful that you have it in your life or that person in your life?

I think all we really need to do is watch the news and see the starving children who have no food and are so thin you can see their ribs, as well as the rest of their bones! How about the pictures of people after 9-11 who lost loved ones – spouses and parents! How lucky are we to still have our family and friends in our lives! What are material things when we let them become the thing that defines who and what we are?

How often have you said to yourself if I only had this I would be happy? When this happens I will feel better? How long have you been waiting to be happy and feel better? When we are happy where we are now then anything else we receive later is an added blessing. When we live for things we don’t possess then we are creating our feelings and thoughts based on what is out of our control.

I am thankful for so many things in my life – my son, my family, my fiancé, what I do and the way I help Single Parent Families and so much more! What are you thankful for in your life? – right now!

We at Single Parent Power wish you and the people who mean so much to you a happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving!

And let’s not forget the usual meaningful holiday quotes!

“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.” ~Edward Sandford Martin

He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.
~J.A. Shedd

“Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.” ~Author Unknown

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it” ~William Arthur Ward

“G-d gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?”’” ~William A. Ward

“Some people complain because G-d put thorns on roses,
while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.”
Anonymous

“We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.” ~Albert Barnes

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” –Estonian Proverb

“You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.” –Charles Haddon Spurgeon

And lastly … “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” ~Irv Kupcinet

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog

rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” - Albert Einstein

Are You Thankful?

What do you focus on? As I listened to someone complaining on how miserable life is I started thinking, besides that the alternative to life is not such a great choice, that the times when I used to get into this space is when I focused on the things that one after another seemed to be going wrong.

I read an article the other day that talked about relationships and the old “80/20″ rule. For those of you who do not know this rule what it says is that in life there is always this ratio of 80% one aspect and 20% another. At the job about 20% of the people do about 80% of the productive work. You will be glad to know that I do not want to talk about work tonight but about relationships, life and how this rule affects Single Parent Families.

I looked back into my past and spoke with other Single Parents about their past. What I found is that the majority of us after a while use our power of choice, for some weird reason, to focus more on the 20% in our lives that are not working. For example, in a relationship that has passed the honeymoon phase and you have been together a while - 80% of the things are “good” and 20% of the things are “bad” in your eyes.

At the start of the relationship you where attracted to and focused on the 80% but as the relationship progresses you begin to focus on the 20%. So we begin to focus on the 20% which are “negatives” like he snores when he sleeps, she is always moving my things around, he double dips, she is always reminding me not to, and on and on. The problem is that what you focus on expands and becomes larger and larger.

So if you focus on the 20% that is what you keep in the front of your mind and that is what you look for to validate the “negatives” in the relationship. That is why when you speak to couples who break up after counseling and ask what the focus was they usually say fixing what was wrong in the relationship - the 20% “bad” and not focusing on the 80% that was “good” and making that expand.

What about life? What do we as Single Parents do when we start stressing out or having problems? We begin to focus more and more on the problem! What does that do? It creates a larger and larger problem because what we focus on … expands. So what do you think would happen if we decided to focus on the good things in our lives? After all, it does depend on how we look at things! Carol Burnett said, “I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don’t work out, that’s when I’ve really learned.”

When things don’t go the way we want, then we have a choice - we can play the victim and let life direct us like a puppet or we can choose to direct our own life by controlling how we feel, how we respond and the life lesson we get out of it. You notice I did not say “react” because reacting requires no thinking and therefore by nature is not choice.

One positive we can look at are our blessings! We are healthy, we have great supportive friends, we have a roof over our head and food in our mouths, we have great children who love us, we have fantastic family who are there for us and on and on. I hope you are getting the picture. Take some time and write a list of what and who you are grateful for and look at it at least two times a day - when you get up and when you go to bed. In this way you remind yourself of the many blessings you do have in your life at the beginning of your day and at the close of your day.

You now know you have a choice. You can choose to look at the 20% of what is “wrong” in your life and miss out on the other 80% that is “good” OR you can choose to focus on the 80% of “good” things in your life and miss out on the 20% that you decide is “bad”. It is all up to you and how you decide to think and what you decide to focus on.

Until next time - remember that you are the best parent you can possibly be in this moment of time!

Please write your comments below and I look forward to reading them.

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - "Helping Single Parent Families Reconnect"
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power

rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" - Albert Einstein

PR: wait... I: wait... L: wait... LD: wait... I: wait... wait... I: wait... L: wait... C: wait... SD: wait...