Why Can't I Understand?

This week we are going to touch on what it takes to understand. The route to understanding is through the use of effective communication and through connection with others. What do I mean by this?

To understand someone, first you have to be able to effectively communicate with them. One good way to do this is through the use of active communication. Active communication, in a nut shell, occurs when the listener places his/her full attention on the speaker and then repeats back what he/she heard to confirm that the speaker and the listener are both on the same page with what was said and what was heard.

The second component to understanding someone, is related to your connection with them. Why is connection so important? Because without it you lose a huge chunk of the opportunity to fully understand! Have you ever been "listening" to someone and find yourself thinking about something "more important"? How does that make you feel in relation to the other person who is speaking? How do you think the speaker feels when they realize you are not really paying attention to them? What do you feel when this happens to you? Do you feel connected?

Instead of connection you get separation! So we now know a great way to help connect us with someone is to give our full attention to the person speaking and use active communication to hear what they are saying, you need to be interested in what they are conveying and you need to then repeat back what you heard to confirm it is what was said and meant. Then the same process occurs when the roles are reversed.

How does this work with our kids? A great place to start is to not only take the time to listen and be interested in what they have to say and share, but to also go to the place they are in now. Read the books they are reading, listen to the music they are listening to, watch the shows they watch and do the things they like to do. This way when the conversations begin you are in their space and can relate on a much higher plain then if you just talk from a disconnected position. I believe we have all been in this place when we try to talk with our kids and they know we don't get it and so they no longer are interested in talking with us – we just created a disconnect.

Now, because you have taken the time to do what they do, you can ask them questions or discuss their opinions from a place of understanding and yet it does not necessarily have to be in agreement. Disagreement can make for some interesting conversations and a better understanding of each others point of view. Amazing things happen when you get down to your kids levels, do what they like and then be able to talk to them about it. You are showing them that you care about them, you want to understand them and you want to be a part of their world too.

This my friend creates connection and allows your relationship with your kids to go to the next level. What we are talking about does not only apply to your kids but also applies to life in general. When you take the time and interest to connect with any one you will see the difference this makes in that relationship; whether a family member, someone you are dating, married to or someone you work with - getting connected makes a huge difference!

With this in mind here is our Quote of the Week:

"Understanding is a two-way street." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

So this week our challenge to you is to take your relationship to the next level with your kids and start doing the things they do and see how your relationship blossoms.

If you are already doing this, that is fantastic! Think on what you can do to take it to another level?

Please forward this to anyone who can benefit from what we are sharing and we would love to get your feedback on how this has changed your relationships by email at info@SingeParentPower.com!

Have a wonderful week and stay connected!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - "Helping Reconnect Families"
www.SingleParentPower.com
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www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
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rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
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"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" - Albert Einstein